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THE TEN BEST CHOCOLATE JOKES

We all know that two ways to get someone to smile are to give them chocolate or tell them a joke. But what would happen if you tell someone a joke about chocolate? Will their grin grow greater (try saying that five times fast)? Here’s some chocolate humor for you to try on friends and family that will have them happily smiling at the results. 

What do you call Chocolate Riot that has been stolen?

Hot chocolate.

A Chocolate Riot THIN says to a Toblerone bar, “Why are you shaped like a triangle?” The Toberone bar answers, “So that I fit into the box.”

Seven-year-old Lucy is sitting on a park bench eating some Chocolate Riot. The man sitting next to her looks over and says, “Eating that many THINS is bad for you.” Lucy looks over and responds, “My great grandfather lived to be one hundred and five”. The man replies, “And he ate that much chocolate?” “No,” says Lucy, “But he minded his own business.”

What are the two types of people in this world?

People who love Chocolate Riot and liars.

There’s a new machine at the gym, but after using it for 45 minutes, I felt sick. Maybe I bought too much Chocolate Riot.

Martha and Mitchell were watching Netflix. Mitchell stands up and says, "I'm going to the kitchen. Do you want anything?"Martha answers, "Yes, I’d love some Chocolate Riot THINS and some vanilla ice cream." Mitchell starts to leave when Martha says, "Honey, are you sure you don't want to write that down? Your doctor said you may need to in order to remember.""No, no, I'm sure I'll remember what you asked for." A few minutes later, he returns with fried eggs and toast. Martha says, "Well, see, you did need to write that down. You completely forgot my bacon!"

What’s the opposite of chocolate?

Chocoearly.

Fred complains to Ethel, “Last night there were two Chocolate Riot THINS left in the box, and now there’s only one. Why?”

Ethel responds, “Well, it was kind of dark, so I must have missed the second one.”

What do you call a cow with a stutter that makes chocolate milk?

Cacao

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray, “Take only one. God is watching.” Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of Chocolate Riot brownies. One child whispered to another, “Take all you want. God is watching the apples.”

Ba da bing.

 


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